Rehab through the Pen

So for the past four to sic months I have been writing to allow myself to release my stress and reflect on myself and my surroundings. I have written many poems and am starting to write my second book.

I must say doing writing has allowed me to appreciate the things in life which I neglected. Also it has allowed me to change my outlook on different issues.

It is a very fulfilling experience when you know someone out there appreciates your work and doesn't call it crap. Many of my poems are philosophical and deep. Not many can relate to it but I noticed that when peopel do read it they enjoy the words I use to explain a thought.

With school starting I may not be able to post as regularly and will effect my writing. But I think with my current state I am content and there shouldn't be any problem.

Sigh.....if only i had time.

I AM A MACHINE!!!

So for the past year or so I have been trying to get a Kendo Club Started at Ryerson and now after trying I FINALLY got it! YAY! It has been a struggle but I look forward to all the new kendo newbs and fun it will be.

The one thing that is going to suck is September when I starts. Not only is it the first month where everything is crazy. But I myself will be fasting during this month. So for me especially I will be struggling to fast and practice (or teach).

I plan on taking it easy but I am more concerned on how my mind can handle the rough fasting and rigorous kendo. Lucky for me I got Wednesday’s off so I plan on sleeping in on that day. That should allow me to rest up and rejuvenate.

For my Kendo club I decided to go back to rehab. So far I am seeing results and I am loving it. I may actually get back into Kendo and kick some ass. Along with rehab I have been working out so to get be the additional strength of the body lol. So pretty much I am a machine that is working hard along with my full time work to get ready for Kendo haha.

workkkk...

Alright so I haven’t posted on my blog in days… okay months lol. Reason being is that I have been awfully busy with work and writing online. I must say its been really hard to manage your time after coming home from work. Its makes things so much harder especially if you got tones of things to do like I do.

When I think about it many people must have patience after they come from work every day of their life. Cause if they are busy and have other things to do they must have prioritized in such a s way that allows them to do certain things and other things on other days.

Not to say that having little time is bad. It has given me something to do and allowed me to really just work and make money lol.

Well a short one for today but I will try to post again soon.

Progress?

As a bum I am I have neglected my blog once again :(. During my absence I was able to take other ways to develop my sprit and mind. One is that I have been lately posting writing on writerscafe.org. So far I enjoy every piece of writing that I expose online. Doing so has allowed me to really reflect on my writing skills and my potential to publish a book (which I want to do in the future). But most importantly I am able to express the spiritual and mind related moments in my life in writing which has been the most important for me.

Doing so has allowed me to look forward and not backwards. (A typical Kendo saying) And has allowed me to open my horizons to an art which not many people appreciate. Overall I think it is a rewarding experience.

Second I have gone to the doctors lately and they did another checkup as to why I am injured and they pinpointed several areas on my body that are weak in strength. I have been strengthen these areas and I can feel the difference in my legs and my arms. If progress continued as such I might be back into practice my next month or so.

I relate this to religion in which I am taught to be patient and things will slowly happen. And I did just that and now I feel much better and I owe it to the divine. Faith has taught me one important thing which is do not give up hope. If I gave up hope on many things I wouldn't be here right now but here I am and explaining to you things in my life that are occurring. Compare this to months back and I was in a state of confusion. Who knows how much more I will be able to advance? Or perhaps something else in my life will occur which will mabe put me in another trial to test my will?

Whatever it is I am ready.

Depression...

Lately I havn’t had much of a “spirit” (as you already know this is the purpose of the blog to discuss sprit). The lack of sprit has caused me to feel…well kinda out of it. Meaning I just didn’t want to do anything and felt bored -> depressed lol.

By falling in this void lets say it wasn’t enjoyable. When you look at people who are actually seriously depressed, you wonder what is going on in their lives. What are they feeling? How do they communicate? Etc.

By me losing “spirit” I felt this sensation of me being lonely. I would say being try to socialize or do something else to preoccupy themselves so they don’t experience this feeling.

OMG I FEEL SO EMO RIGHT NOW! LMAO.

I have been able to rebound back (yes I aint EMO!), but for those that struggle with this syndrome. I kinda understand what you go through. As we say in Kendo using Engrish “FIGHT-O!!”

Everything starts with the mind and end there. If you can change your mind everything follows like a river.

Zanshin...

In Kendo there is something called Zanshin. Zanshin is a state of mind. Your mind in Zanshin is empty and with that "you are letting go". Kinda hard to explain the concept. Kendo practitioners use Zanshin when they strike and follow through, with Zanshin your attack gets stronger and you are able to concentrate without any effort.

I tried to do this recently with my regular prayers. It is a bit rough, since finding Zanshin in prayer is totally different then Kendo. However, I have been able to implement aspects of Zanshin in my prayer.

What I have been doing is pretty much taking breaks at different points. During these breaks I stop all of my movement and thoughts for a brief second then continue. When I am doing this I usually feel a pressure to quickly move forward and rush through. This is the pinnacle of Zanshin since I stop myself from doing that and try to maintain my composure and with patience continue my prayer.

Very hard aspect to grasp, but doing so will allow me to practice my faith and spirit.

Surgery....

I recently had a surgery which disabled me from walking about and doing much. I took the week off school to recover which is really good that I did or else I would be angry like a troll >.<.

During this time I wasn’t able to pray properly as I usually do. Since in Islam when we pray there is a part where we go on our knees and place our heads on the ground in meditation. It symbolizes how small humans are compared to the sight of God and our submission to his divinity. But because of the surgery I couldn’t do this, I had to use a chair to sit on to replicate the motion. This disabled me from putting my head down on the ground.

I decided this Friday when I go to the congregation I will make an effort to put my head down on the ground. It was hard but I was able to do it. When I placed my head down a sense of relief came over me. As if a burden was lifted.

In Islam we practice the idea of patience. Patience is important to everything. Without it people go mad. With it people are calm. The idea of patience is very in depth, perhaps in my future blog entry I will post something on that.

For that to happen I wait patiently for my body to heal until I am able to do some Kendo.